Beer to be taxed for CO2 production?
Friday, 01 August 2008 11:37

Not a day goes by without young Gronad Brown and his mate Tony Bliar thinkng up a wonderful idea. Today was of course no exception. Gronad was musing on ways to save the planet - he's heard from a group whose name was something to do with colour, reds, blues or greens - he can't just recall which, but it was not really important.

Gronad took on board the idea that something called CO2 was bad, he wasn't quite sure what it was or why it was bad, but he knew that these people had said it and that a lot of others believed it, so it was probably a good bandwagon to get on.

Gronad's uncle was a great consumer of beer, so he was delighted when he could take young Gordon on a brewery visit. It was during the tour that Gordon heard the magic CO2 mentioned. Apparently beer production made lots of this CO2 stuff. Gronad knew at once that was bad, so beer production must be bad too.

Next day Gordon set to work thinking more about beer and CO2, how could he stop the evil brewers making this CO2 stuff? Although just a lad, young Gronad knew instinctively he had to act. He gathered together a group of his friends and they made placards denouncing the bad brewers, then on Saturday morning when there was no school they met at the brewery and marched up and down with their posters.

'Stop CO2 brewing' they shouted until they were hoarse but no-one seemed to take much notice. Around lunchtime a group of older boys came out of a local supermarket with some cans of lager and seeing the youngsters came over to have a laugh. One of them offered the 2nd formers a sample of lager which he said was a kind of grown-up fizzy pop, Gronad was not entireley convinced but took a sample drink anyway.

The less said about the outcome of the encounter with the older boys the better, but it may be summed up by saying that the youngsters liked the fizzy pop lager and drank plenty, they abandoned their placards and rampaged around the town, were arrested, had their fingerprints and DNA taken and were thrown into the cells at the local cop shop.Gronad's mum was disappointed in him, but he's decided that the brewers are not evil and that whatever this CO2 stuff is, it can't be that bad.

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