This will sort out the Taliban once and for all

It came to me in a flash, brilliant, how brilliant I am. It's such fun saving the world!

The Taliban are our friends, oh yes. They have let me bring in all sorts of new rules and regulations here at home, all that ridiculous airport security, biometric passports - and all the time those fools, oops voters, oops idiots take it in like empty dustbins. All that is about compliance, doing what you're told . . . can't they see it, no, they really believe me. Fools.

But back to 'our friends the Taliban', it's a stroke of genius, yes, we'll pay them to be on our side. That's the answer.

How could I not have seen it before. I knew I remembered something from school about one of England's kings making friends with the Danes. We can do the same with those nice Taliban, I'm sure they will use the money to provide schooling for young girls and other really worthwhile projects.

So, that's what we'll do, make friends with the Taliban  and help them to improve their country.

Some facts to consider

In 991, King Aethelred "The Unready" was advised by Archbishop Sigeric of Canterbury and others to buy off the Vikings rather than fight them,  so 3,300 kg of silver was paid to the Vikings.

Just 3 years later in 994 they were once more bought off.

The Danes loved this idea, and took it to heart, after all why take risks when the Brits would hand over their silver without even a fight?

As you would expect the Danes kept coming back for more . . .

In 1002, then in 1007 when Aethelred handed over 13,400 kg of silver, and 1012, another 17,900 kg of silver.

In 1016 a further 26,900 kg of silver was collected nationally, plus a further 3,900 kg of silver collected from London was handed over.

Total: 65,400 kg of silver

 

 



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